Musings At The Mall

So today after work, I took a spin by the Mall of New Hampshire. I needed shampoo and a coax adapter, and so both of these could be had in one place. Two birds, one stone, right? Now, while I am a shopper, there are days where I'm in no great rush, and I'll let myself stroll around the mall, maybe make a lap, more to people-watch than anything. God knows I don't stop to windowlick or anything. I actually made a couple observations, and thought, wouldn't it be cool if there were a place I could share this?

Yeah, you did get back into this blogging thing for a reason, remember?

So anyway, here are the things that came to mind.

I really am not sure how RadioShack is still in business. Saturday night, at our rapidly-becoming-weekly Starbucks gathering, Adam and I questioned the existence of RadioShack. We acknowledged it as the place that's often the only place to go for some random electronic thing that you need now. Then, this morning I came across a Fark link to an article about the chain. Apparently, RadioShack is going to rebrand its stores as The Shack, and it also seems that the stores will increase their focus on cell-phone sales, now bringing T-Mobile to their service line. The Fark thread was amusing, a catalog of anecdotes from people who remembered when you could get decent stuff there, and how now it's regarded as a last resort for immediate purchases (how Adam and I recognized it), a haven for hard-sell and clueless salespeople and also dependent on selling you batteries.

Now, before I came across this article, I'd planned to hit Radio...er, The Shack today anyway. So maybe I went in with this negative prejudice already. But I set foot in an empty store with three guys hovering around the counter in conversation. The first half of the store, once the display center for televisions, store-branded home theater junk and radio-control cars, was pretty much devoid of gondola shelves, the walls lined with cell phones and iPod accessories. I felt a salesman's eyes on me immediately, so I did my usual thing—I made a beeline for the electronics at the back of the store, looking like I was assured of what I needed. (Some Farker mentioned this strategy too.) I found something that'll work, and while checking out, the guy behind the counter immediately asked, "Do you need anything else, maybe batteries?"

Self-fulfilling prophecy? Maybe. I attributed my negativity to that. But the people who came in the store after me hardly made it three feet inside before being pounced by a "helpful" salesman. Even The Onion had an article about this phenomenon...with a store that seems to offer so little and have so little firm direction (do we really need another cell phone middleman?), how is RadioShack still around? At least Circuit City knew what it was. Then again, we knew how crappy it was, too. That's more an indictment of the retail paradigm in a digital age. But that's for another blog entry.

Simon Properties: We're working hard to not look so bleak. Not surprisingly, we've lost a few small stores to the recession. It's not like JCPenney or Macy's have left anchor slots gaping and dark. If you want to see that, go see the Bedford Mall...Your Neighborhood Ghost Town Since 2001. (Or thereabouts.) But a couple jewelry places have gone out, and a few others here and there. Once upon a time, they'd just put up the metal grate in the door, take the signs off the wall, and leave it. Or maybe they'd put that white partition up that they use when some slot is getting remodeled. But what they've done with some is more subtle. They've put black curtains up in the doorways, and added benches and fake plants to create a sort of sitting area against the wall. It's tasteful, subtle, and it doesn't draw your attention to the blank and empty storefront. A few are serving as display windows for other stores in the mall.

It's not that bad, believe me. But you do notice, if you remember something used to be somewhere, or had been for a while. Like most things, you notice when you look.

Doesn't everyone already have a cell phone? I noticed that there's another cell phone store opening. I think it's a T-Mobile store. Now, T-Mobile has a kiosk in the mall; they had two. Verizon Wireless and AT&T have stores in the mall, too. VZW has two, if you count the GoWireless store that seems to be a Verizon reseller. Plus, you can get phones from almost any provider at the aforementioned RadioShack. So, that said, why do we need so many cell phone stores? I can justify why we need a Starbucks or a Dunkin' Donuts every block; some people will go to the competitor's store a block away because they're too lazy to continue on their way without that venti double nonfat iced mocha latte with whipped cream and served at 140 degrees Fahrenheit. But do we really need eight cell phone kiosks at the mall? Especially when you can find another in the RadioShack at the mall, or standalone retailers in strip malls a mile down South Willow?

(I guess another part of it is that as carriers merge, they inherit each other's stores. But come on, we all have cell phones...so let's get real.)

What's the target demographic of Forever 21? Apparently, Forever 21 is one of the more popular fashion retailers at the mall, since they moved in a few years ago. No, I did not ask this of the female shoppers; you just can't take five steps without seeing a bright yellow bag with "Forever 21" emblazoned on it. Either people are reusing their bags because they're just that good, or lots of girls shop there. Now, I laughed at the name when they first moved in. "Forever" any age implies that you were once that age, and though it may be long past now, damn it, you're going to stay that age no matter how time and fate betray you. Therefore, I imagined what Carmine and Katie did, a bunch of thirty-somethings and MILFs trying to defy time by wearing clothing that would make 1980s Madonna blush.

And instead, most of those yellow bags are in the hands of girls who aren't quite 21 yet, far as I can tell. How can you be "forever 21" if you haven't ever been 21 to begin with? But that brings up another question...

Should I take a seat over there? A few Christmas Eves ago, I was strolling the mall last-minute when I bumped into Isaac. He lamented that he had yet to see an "attractive" woman at the mall that afternoon. I have to assume Isaac was wearing the fidelity-to-his-girlfriend goggles, because I've never found that assessment to be true. The problem is, I don't know if I'm supposed to find these women attractive!

I can't tell age. If I see a cute girl, I can't tell you if she's sixteen or eighteen or twenty-five. Yeah, I can tell if she's 30. But under that can be hard to tell. The girls don't make it any easier. Fashion isn't too revealing, unless you happen to catch a collegiate or high-school athletic t-shirt or sweatshirt. Parents aren't revealing, because what 14-year-old still gets chaperoned around the mall these days? There's just no way to tell from a quick glance. I just do what's safest, and try not to acknowledge any of them. After all, you never know when Chris Hansen is watching you.

Why does techno sell young-adult fashion? Every time you walk past a Hollister, Abercrombie or whatever label, they're blasting techno. I know there's a survey that says why. When the marketing people come forth with The Data, you do what The Data tell you to do. But are people universally driven by techno? I'd think it would make people hyper and leave the store faster.

And yeah, I thought this all up in the span of about twenty-five minutes. Go, me.