Bling Can't Buy Class

I'm not even trying to be a hipster archetype by saying this, but it's been a while since I've sat through the MTV Video Music Awards. It's not that I'm too cool for them or anything. The last one I can really remember watching was when Chris Rock hosted in, what, 1999 or 2000? He was funny, threw out some pretty good lines, and I laughed. I'm ashamed to admit that, because if I'm watching the Video Music Awards, shouldn't I be watching because of the music? If I want to see comedy, there are plenty of channels that offer that.

Truth is, I don't even know if they play videos on MTV anymore, it's been so long since I've watched. It used to be getting-ready-in-the-morning filler material on TV when the news was uninteresting. Ever since MTV became a mélange of genres I don't give a tenth of a care about, I've had no burning need to check in. Actually, I didn't even know the VMAs were tonight until I saw an ad for it on MySpace (yeah, don't ask why I picked today to peek at my neglected and unnecessary MySpace account).

So why am I writing about it? I've been in for the night, and next thing I knew, everyone's Facebook status was abuzz with something Kanye West did. I guess that, in itself, isn't news. We're talking about the guy who took advantage of some airtime on MTV to once claim that President Bush didn't like black people. I don't know if one incident an attention whore makes, but it'll do in this case.

I'd have let it go, but then I saw the video from the award ceremony, before it was removed from YouTube. (I'm sure there'll be other copies in the coming days, popping up faster than Viacom can submit a copyright claim.)

For those who haven't seen it, Taylor Swift is on stage, accepting her award for "Best Female Video." I have no idea which of her songs was up for the award, but from what I've heard of her music (okay, so that's limited to a ballad titled "Teardrops On My Guitar"), she's pretty likely to be, thematically, worlds apart from her competition in the category. So here's this cute country gal, all of nineteen, winning a rather unexpected award - as she started to say, "I sing country music, so thank you all for giving me a chance to win this award."

Started to say. Enter Kanye West, stage left. In a classy move, Kanye commandeered the mic and declared, "Taylor, I'm gonna let you finish, but Beyoncé [Knowles] had maybe one of the best videos ever! Just sayin'." He hands the mic back to a speechless Taylor Swift and exits stage left, while Taylor just stands there, kind of shocked, finally gathering it back up to wave to the crowd, ending her abbreviated acceptance speech. Cut to commercial, or the next segment, or whatever they do.

Where do you even begin? I mean, you're a guest or whatever at an awards ceremony. An award is given to someone whose music pretty much isn't on your genre's radar; I mean, unless it's a radio-driven show like the KISS Concert, I'm guessing that no one will be booking Taylor Swift to open for Beyoncé Knowles anytime soon. It's not like this is some kind of rivalry; diehard country fans probably don't care what happens in the world of R&B and hip-hop, and R&B/hip-hop fans probably don't care about the country music scene, either. It's not like Kanye was on stage for an award, or as a presenter, or anything really. So what was the purpose of all that? It sure didn't make me think anything good about Beyoncé, I'll say that for sure. Moreover, whoever votes on the VMAs apparently they didn't think Beyoncé's video was as amazing as Kanye felt, either. If you've got to comment, there's sure to be plenty of press to cover the "I think we got ignored" angle later on. And come on, it's not like Beyoncé or Destiny's Child had any shortage of awards years ago.

What it did accomplish was it ruined an evening. Taylor Swift managed to say that she'd always dreamed of winning an MTV Video Music Award, and that she never thought she would. (Standard, but believable...over the years, it seemed that MTV had become the home of hard rock and rap music while top-40 and crossover country were relegated to VH1, with "real" country only inhabiting the specialty annex of CMT.) Here she was, accepting that award that, as a kid, she probably thought it would be cool to win. Awards are a fickle kind of thing; you can quantify album sales and downloads, but no matter how good you are or how hard you work, you can't guarantee voted awards. If you're lucky enough to win one, you might never be fortunate enough to win another.

And then, two sentences into a speech she'd probably rehearsed in a mirror but never knew if she'd get to say on stage, some dude from another musical world entirely takes the mic from her, basically disses her award on stage (indirectly, of course...but indirect insults are sometimes even more harsh than a petty "you suck"), then gives the mic back to her. She's left speechless. What would you say? What could you say, in her position, to follow that up? The rehearsed speech and the grateful thank-yous and the moment in the limelight were all gone at that point. From the video I saw, she looked totally deflated. Taylor Swift will surely win plenty of awards if she hasn't already; there are the Teen Choice awards, and I'm sure there's plenty of genre-specific celebration where she'll surely get recognition for her music. But to Taylor Swift, I'll bet that VMA - an award voted on against stars of all other backgrounds - had a certain special meaning. She didn't disrespect any genre or any musician, she simply won.

Kanye West ruined that moment of recognition for her, and that's something no pile of money or double-platinum album can buy back.

This shouldn't bother me, but it does. I'm not a country fan...I have a weak spot for cute girls with lovely voices, but I can take or leave country music. It doesn't really make a difference if it was Taylor Swift winning that award, or Lady GaGa, or Kylie Minogue. What Kanye West did tonight was completely tasteless and disrespectful, no matter who he disrespected. I guess I wouldn't care so much if someone like Kylie or Madonna were snubbed, because they'd have the grace of years in the business to shake it off and put Kanye in his place. Maybe it is more tasteless that he disrespected someone as new to the business as Taylor.

Before tonight, I'd acknowledged his past transgressions, but Kanye West was never really on my radar, musically or for his extracurricular pursuits. After tonight, I'll rank him right up there with Perez Hilton on the douchebag scale. And that's some pretty dubious company.

Put Down Your Remote Control, Throw Out That TV Guide

I don't tend to watch a lot of TV. Admittedly, that's because there's nothing on. Adam, my roommate, vehemently disagrees, but then, he enjoys "Mythbusters" and the sci-fi fare that hasn't yet been excised from the recently-renamed Syfy. All the same, we just have basic cable; why would we need anything more? I'd rather have a fast Internet connection.

So tonight, Adam discovered we have a new channel on our package. It's not really a new channel, per se, and I knew my parents got it, but my parents have two HD boxes with a couple packages that ensure they'll have HBO for "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and Speed for NASCAR coverage. Anyway, Adam discovered tonight that we now get RTV, the Retro Television Network. Much in the vein of what TV Land does, RTV broadcasts series from the '50s through to the '80s. In the background, I hear commercials, but I was just treated to the theme song of "The A-Team." This after Adam watched David Hasselhoff in "Knight Rider." And as I mentioned to Adam, RTV also shows episodes of "Airwolf," which he and Carmine adore with a sort of fanaticism.

For us here in Manchester, RTV resides at Channel 20 on the Comcast package. Not thinking, I did some research on Wikipedia. It's then that I determined RTV is indeed tied to the most awesome semi-independent TV channel in Boston.

When I grew up, in addition to our local ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX affiliates, we also had some independent channels. There were WNDS-TV 50, WGOT-60, little stations like that. The days of those stations and callsigns have long since passed, but many of them live on, broadcasting for networks like MyTV and formerly the PAX network. A bunch of them used to show shopping channels, too, or Univision.

One of these was WMFP-TV out of Lawrence, MA. WMFP-TV actually broadcast the Shop At Home Network for a bunch of years, relegated to flashing its callsign once an hour between shows. If you're morbidly curious like I was, the full story on WMFP-TV is here on Wikipedia, which we know is 100% factual and correct. Anyway, after SAH went under in 2006, the station was sold to Multicultural Television, and showed some other jewelry shopping channels for a couple years before they picked up the Retro Television Network feed in 2009.

That's not the cool part. It dawned on me that, while clicking channels, I'd seen the channel number for WMFP-TV. It may show up as Channel 20, but if you'd had to tune it in via rabbit ears, WMFP-TV was...Channel 62. In fact, while they've discontinued analog UHF and now broadcast solely on digital UHF channel 18, they still use virtual channel 62.1.

Nerds will recognize the significance of this. For those who don't, "Weird Al" Yankovic released a movie in 1989 titled "UHF," starring himself as a big dreamer who inherits control of a failing TV station and gets to make his imagination reality. After opening against a litany of summer blockbusters, the movie tanked, becoming a cult classic years later on DVD. If you haven't seen "UHF," you're failing yourself; it's a great period piece, box-office numbers be damned. Anyway, in the movie, Al's character George took control of none other than UHF Channel 62.

So, greater-Boston-area TV viewers, there you have it. WMFP-TV 62, your local carrier for Retro Television, is indeed UHF Channel 62, "The Reason Television Was Invented!"

Now, they just need to pick up Wheel Of Fish and Raul's Wild Kingdom, and I'll be pleased.