Put Down Your Remote Control, Throw Out That TV Guide

I don't tend to watch a lot of TV. Admittedly, that's because there's nothing on. Adam, my roommate, vehemently disagrees, but then, he enjoys "Mythbusters" and the sci-fi fare that hasn't yet been excised from the recently-renamed Syfy. All the same, we just have basic cable; why would we need anything more? I'd rather have a fast Internet connection.

So tonight, Adam discovered we have a new channel on our package. It's not really a new channel, per se, and I knew my parents got it, but my parents have two HD boxes with a couple packages that ensure they'll have HBO for "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and Speed for NASCAR coverage. Anyway, Adam discovered tonight that we now get RTV, the Retro Television Network. Much in the vein of what TV Land does, RTV broadcasts series from the '50s through to the '80s. In the background, I hear commercials, but I was just treated to the theme song of "The A-Team." This after Adam watched David Hasselhoff in "Knight Rider." And as I mentioned to Adam, RTV also shows episodes of "Airwolf," which he and Carmine adore with a sort of fanaticism.

For us here in Manchester, RTV resides at Channel 20 on the Comcast package. Not thinking, I did some research on Wikipedia. It's then that I determined RTV is indeed tied to the most awesome semi-independent TV channel in Boston.

When I grew up, in addition to our local ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX affiliates, we also had some independent channels. There were WNDS-TV 50, WGOT-60, little stations like that. The days of those stations and callsigns have long since passed, but many of them live on, broadcasting for networks like MyTV and formerly the PAX network. A bunch of them used to show shopping channels, too, or Univision.

One of these was WMFP-TV out of Lawrence, MA. WMFP-TV actually broadcast the Shop At Home Network for a bunch of years, relegated to flashing its callsign once an hour between shows. If you're morbidly curious like I was, the full story on WMFP-TV is here on Wikipedia, which we know is 100% factual and correct. Anyway, after SAH went under in 2006, the station was sold to Multicultural Television, and showed some other jewelry shopping channels for a couple years before they picked up the Retro Television Network feed in 2009.

That's not the cool part. It dawned on me that, while clicking channels, I'd seen the channel number for WMFP-TV. It may show up as Channel 20, but if you'd had to tune it in via rabbit ears, WMFP-TV was...Channel 62. In fact, while they've discontinued analog UHF and now broadcast solely on digital UHF channel 18, they still use virtual channel 62.1.

Nerds will recognize the significance of this. For those who don't, "Weird Al" Yankovic released a movie in 1989 titled "UHF," starring himself as a big dreamer who inherits control of a failing TV station and gets to make his imagination reality. After opening against a litany of summer blockbusters, the movie tanked, becoming a cult classic years later on DVD. If you haven't seen "UHF," you're failing yourself; it's a great period piece, box-office numbers be damned. Anyway, in the movie, Al's character George took control of none other than UHF Channel 62.

So, greater-Boston-area TV viewers, there you have it. WMFP-TV 62, your local carrier for Retro Television, is indeed UHF Channel 62, "The Reason Television Was Invented!"

Now, they just need to pick up Wheel Of Fish and Raul's Wild Kingdom, and I'll be pleased.